A viral post shared by u/ThrowRA3132234, explains her ex-husband initiated a divorce in 2020 after being diagnosed with a medical condition.
“He didn’t want to ruin what we had and become a burden,” she wrote.
She explained her ex is “extremely sick” and has requested to see her for the final time. But saying goodbye could cost the user her current marriage.
Newsweek reached out to Maria Venetis, an associate professor of communication, who states “ultimatums are controlling and signal a lack of trust in the relationship and a lack of autonomy for the other person.”
The post gained over 17,000 upvotes as the woman explained her story, sharing that she is five months pregnant and is witnessing a side of her husband that she has never seen before.
She wrote: “My current husband got extremely upset with me when I mentioned it to him and threatened to divorce me if I go. He called this inappropriate and that my ex was being manipulative.”
She points out it is her “last chance to say goodbye to him” and she couldn’t imagine how terrible she would feel if he died without seeing him.
“There’s a lot at stake here and I don’t wanna sneak behind my husband’s back,” she wrote.
Expert Advice
Speaking to Newsweek, Venetis said: “Conflict is hard, and conflict with a close other such as a spouse is really hard. When people experience conflict, there are various ways to respond based on two factors: the desire to get what they want and the desire to preserve the relationship.”
Venetis, who works at the School of Communication and Information, Rutgers University, suggests the user speaks to her husband again and highlights the importance of the visit.
“Tactics like ultimatums aren’t productive. If this couple hopes to have a healthy relationship, they would benefit from working together to find mutually agreeable solutions,” she said.
What Do the Comments Say?
The top comment has received 18,000 upvotes, it said: “There are times in life when you need to go with your gut instinct. This is one of them. You know what to do.”
Another person said: “Literally the only harm is to his ego and unhealthy need to control his wife. Saying goodbye to someone who was an important part of her life for a decade should be his time to step up, show compassion and be supportive. Instead, he’s throwing a tantrum and emotionally blackmailing her. I truly don’t get how anyone could justify this behavior or throw the fault on OP. Her heart must be completely shattered by it all.”
“Without a shred of doubt. The guy rather dealt with his deadly health issues alone than hurt her. He definitely deserves to see her one last time,” commented another.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
